


Need You Like Water In My Lungs

by graceling_in_a_suit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (i doubt it's historically accurate tho fam), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Magical Realism, Temporary Character Death, everything works out I promise!, loads of waves & sea shit in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 01:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13583460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceling_in_a_suit/pseuds/graceling_in_a_suit
Summary: In which the ocean has a heart, and she gives it to one in need.AKA: Louis dies and becomes the sea, and what the fuck does harry do?





	Need You Like Water In My Lungs

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic that I started ages and I only just got around to finishing... It's also the longest thing I've ever written, which I'm proud of even though it's only 10k.
> 
> The title is from [Play Crack the Sky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyIX84ti7aob) by Brand New, which loosely inspired this fic. I recommend you give it a listen as you read. 
> 
> I'd like to thank my wonderful friend [Bethany](https://archiveofourown.org/users/you_explode/pseuds/you_explode), without whom I would never have finished this. You're the best!

 

 

 

 

The sea knew that she was vast. She knew because she could feel it all, all the wonderful fish and creatures inside of her, and all of the tiny, tiny animals that were paddling around on top of her. Her surface moved largely independent of her, but she could control it if she focused; her waves were like… breathing. She remembered breathing from when she was a human, long ago. 

The ocean has been her and she has been the ocean for so long that she can’t remember what her name used to be.

But she wasn’t thinking on her faded memories at this moment in time. She was watching, only half-interestedly, as a tempest raged on her waters. Humanity had recently begun crawling all over her, where before there was only the odd little one splashing around. They had immense ships now, and were venturing out further and further. The ones she was watching now definitely didn’t have the largest ships, which were at least slightly impressive to her. No, these ones were poorer, carrying goods over her skin to a different part of the world.

Or: they had been, at least. Most of them were drowning, now. She had seen so many other animals die that she felt less sympathy towards these ones, who killed so many of her beloved sea creatures. She was, however, once one of them. The residual sympathy she felt towards their short violent lives was why she never completely wiped them out when they ventured onto her. She undoubtedly could, if she was a crueller being.

Instead, she watched them running about on their shabby wooden creation, screaming at each other over the bellowing wind. They were evacuating their vessel onto smaller ones, having given up on wrangling the ropes and sails decorating the larger vessel. She was alone in her audience for the moment; the sky wasn’t looking at the moment.

Just then, the ocean’s immense eyes were drawn unexpectedly to a pair of humans. One was slightly smaller, more panicked. It was crying dreadfully, and it had another human in its arms. The other one was struggling to breathe, swallowing water that was crashing over the sides of the small raft they were uselessly trying to stay afloat on. The storm never ceased in the wake of the sea’s distraction, and she watched as the edges of the raft took on more and more water, its small frame sinking incrementally into her. 

She watched the pair, deciding that she liked the littler one. She could feel his strength and his pain. She could feel the depth of his love for the other—she was almost sure they were both boys, perhaps young men, stretching the muscles of her atrophied memory of the human gender and age spectrums. She focused in on what he was saying, but the noises streaming from his mouths made no sense to her.

“… I’m not going to let you die in this storm, Harry! I pulled you out of the fucking water when the ship went down, I’m not letting it have you now,” he screeched. Rain pelted down on both of their faces, and still more water sloshed over the sides, sinking them lower. They shouted at each other whilst fruitlessly trying to shovel water out of the boat.

“Please, Louis, the boat is too heavy with both of us in it, will you let me DO THIS FOR YOU!” The other one was near hysterical.

“What, kill yourself? No fucking way!”

The other shook his head ferociously. “I don’t mean that, Louis. I’m a better swimmer than you, I can last until this storm ends.”

“No, Harry! I’m not letting you do that, I convinced you to come on this fucking mad voyage, I’m not going to let you risk your life for me!”

“Then what, Louis? We both drown?!”

The sea watched, rapt, as something settled in her human’s face. She could feel him decide something, could feel him give up. She tried to stop the storm, but in her distraction she had missed the sky’s arrival. He was always drawn to death for reasons the sea had never understood. Perhaps it was because he had so few creatures left that lived in him. 

He kept the wind whipping at her waters, even if the rain died down a bit. She watched as the human stilled the other’s frantically shovelling hands, covering them with his own. His face was at peace as he leaned forward and kissed the other, who melted into him despite his confusion and panic. The ocean noticed as he pulled back that his boy’s eyes were a blue so clear that it rivalled her own colouring. It had been so long since she’d been able to focus in enough to see such a small detail.

The blue eyes were focused on the other human’s green pair as he stroked a hand his cheek tenderly, a moment of intimacy within the utter violence and terror of the storm. 

Both the sea and the human’s companion were horrifically shocked, then, when he stood and jumped into the slashing waves. She saw the other human cry out in pain as he disappeared into her depths, swept under by the turbulent crashing of driftwood from the ship above. She was only half paying attention as the one on the surface clutched the edge of the now buoyed boat, an expression of utter pain on his features.

Instead, she was drawn to the gift she had received. He was thrashing about, invisible to the surface and on his last breath. But when she reached out to him, she found he was calm; the flailing was his body’s last attempt to take a breath, to gain the oxygen it needed as darkness blurred the edges of his vision.

Through it all, he kept his eyes on the surface, the blue of them clearly visible in the suddenly still water that surrounded him. 

The ocean could feel (in an idle, distracted way) as the other human plunged into her, screaming after the one that was in her arms now.

She had never focused so solely on such a small part of her before, it was like squinting; everything else in her entire, almost infinite stretch across the planet was in her periphery as she manifested arms to hold this human boy in his last moments.

He stared up at her, or what she assumed was she; he was both looking at her and through her.

He was so tiny in comparison to her, so small—and yet, she felt his largeness. His strength. She was so, so old…so tired. And here was a human, warm and young, that she couldn’t bear to see erased from existence. His body was no longer struggling, accepting of his fate, but his eyes bored into her. It was if he was begging. But… not for himself. He had realised that his companion would have jumped after him; he was resigned to his own death, but not the death of the other. 

So, she reached out. Blind, on instinct, letting his personality flow though her. His love stilled the storm, and she was distantly aware of the sky being shocked—perhaps disappointed that his fun was over, or aghast that she was even capable of such concentrated strength. 

It was a further, deeper instinct that drove her to reach further forward as he died, reaching into him until she became him and he became her. 

She smiled, and she faded.

He opened his eyes.

He screamed.

Louis William Tomlinson, who was never to be mentioned without also mentioning Harry Edward Styles, did not die that day.

He felt, idly, that he might as well have. His body did, at any rate. Louis could not comprehend or control the body he had now.

The ocean, he was aware, was with him when he died. At least - the spirit of it? He guessed that was what he was, now; the entirety of the sea was his. It was… _him._ It was like… Louis lapped his waves, he felt the depths of himself and he enjoyed the sensation of animals playing around on his… skin. The parts where he met the sky.

The sky… the sky disliked him. Louis had no fucking clue how he knew this; it was just something he felt, a righteous anger directed at him. The wind tried to start storms with him, whip him up into a fury.

Louis just looked away, distracted by his sudden immensity.

He was so distracted, in fact, that it felt as though he blinked and had forgotten he was once human. Time didn’t feel the same as it once did, he pondered as he shifted his focus from a migrating pod of whales to a convergence of currents that was creating a massive whirlpool. It was easily as big as a country, surrounded by islands Louis had never heard of.

It was only then that he felt a tug at one of his many shores. It wasn’t the tug of parts of him being lifted away, or the gentle numbing where his reach met that of rivers all over the world.

It was a tug that sparked something in his memory. It reminded him of a love as large as he was now, but surely it wouldn’t have fit inside the body he used to have.

He followed the sensation, let himself be swept toward it and ignoring the rest of the world. It was so hard to focus in on such a small part of himself, it took a concentration that he hadn’t begun to build yet. Louis thought that when he was a human he was easily distracted, always wanting to go on a new adventure. He laughed to himself in nostalgia as best he could in his current state. Louis remembered that it had never mattered, because he always had Harry to indulge him and to anchor… Harry. He used to have Harry. 

How could he have possibly forgotten about Harry?

Louis raced towards the sensation, at once sure that it was Harry he was feeling. The difficulty increased the closer he came, adjusting his gaze to be smaller and smaller until- 

Harry! He was sitting cross-legged on a deserted beach, feet being gradually buried by the tide. Louis realised that he must have washed up there after the storm. It looked like an area claimed by English merchants, judging by the familiar lifeboats dotting the shore. Louis ached for Harry, so far from home. Had he been alright? How long had it been? Louis had no idea.

But as he peered closer he noticed that Harry’s hair didn’t seem to have grown, although he looked so much older. There was a deep sadness engraved into his face where it was only ever filled with joy before. Louis wasn’t even sure he had an actual heart, but he felt it break nonetheless at the sight of his boy like this.

Louis rushed forward onto Harry when he noticed that his blank gaze towards the horizon had been interpreted by silent tears. He pushed at the waves, and it was like stretching muscles he had never used before.

Harry cried out in shock, stumbling to his feet as the tide crept up the beach until it reached his waist. Louis could have laughed at how relieved he was to have Harry touching him again, even if it was only the tiniest part. He pulled Harry out to sea, towards him, but Harry was panicking and struggling to stay afloat. Louis recoiled from him apologetically, buoying him above the surface of the water. Harry quickly turned and tried to swim back to the beach, which was a while away by now. His strong strokes cut through the water, but Louis pulled him back.

_Harry!_ Louis cried out. The entire bay seemed to still: the tide ceased as far as the eye could see. Harry spun around in wonder.

“What? But this happened after Louis…” he muttered to himself confusedly, his terror at being pulled back in the ocean momentarily ceasing. He ran a shaky hand through his dampened hair and called out brokenly, confusedly: “Louis?”

_Harry._

Harry let out a broken sob. His voice grew louder as he said, “Louis, I can hear you. Please, is that really you?”

_It’s me._

“Where are you? Baby, I thought you were dead!” Harry madly looked around, as if Louis was going to materialise on the shore or the horizon.

_I am dead. I think. And … you’re in me. I’m all around you._ Louis tried to explain, but he felt too large all of a sudden, clumsy and alien in the face of the boy he loved and his overwhelming humanity. He hastily added, _Sick, innit?_ , hoping that the phrase he was once familiar with would comfort Harry to hear again.

Harry’s eyes widened as the water around him twirled, spinning him around in a dizzy circle. He giggled, forgetting himself for a moment. Then Louis’ words sunk in.

“Wait, what? What do you mean, Lou? Are you, like, the sea? This is crazy.”

_Um, yeah?_ Louis lapped around Harry’s torso. It felt like moving an individual eyelash, or something else ridiculously localised. Louis was scared to find he didn’t really remember what it felt like to be in a human body anymore.

“I miss you so much I’m having delusions, then.” Harry decided, before his face fell. He looked stricken and Louis scrambled to think of how to comfort him without drowning him.

“Louis, I hate you so much right now. Everything is horrible, and you’re not here, but you _could_ have been here if you weren’t busy being such an arse! You,” Harry rambled, growing louder and more tearful, ending with a choked sob. “You fucking died, I told you not to jump and you did. It should have been me, and I tried to go after you but I—I couldn’t save you. And now you’re gone and I’m insane and yelling to myself on the beach.”

Louis focused all of himself upwards, manipulating the water so that he could rise above the surface in a parody of his human features, liquid rather than flesh. He’d thought of the idea while Harry was talking, but he was surprised to find it had worked. Witnessing the extent of Harry’s grief was an incredible motivator, it seemed. He waited until Harry looked up in surprise to reach forward and wipe a tear from his cheek, wetting it further in the process. Harry choked on air.

_I’m sorry, Haz. I’m so sorry._

“I don’t believe this. You _died._ ” Harry shook his head violently, the glorious curls that Louis loved to run his hands through and tug on whipping from side to side. His green eyes were red-rimmed, and there were dark bags under each. He was dressed in a rag-like button up shirt and saggy brown pants—clothes that Louis knew he didn’t own.

_You’re so beautiful, Harry._ Louis tried to convey exactly how much he meant that in his tone, but he was getting so tired.

The longer Louis remained, the harder it was to focus; there was so much going on on the other side of the world, so many things moving about. There were a few storms, and he felt lives being lost while his attention was elsewhere.

_I love you. Don’t you dare be an idiot and give up on your life. I died so that you could live, and I’d fucking die again rather than see you waste that._ Louis pushed Harry gently towards shore. He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t fucking see anything. Louis was twitching; he had to look away. 

But Harry was yelling again, fighting to get back to him. He was thrown on the beach while Louis was calming a budding tsunami on the other side of the world. Harry stood and kicked the sand in frustration, running his hands through his hair. He was completely soaked. He shivered and cried and wished Louis back as hard as he could, sitting on the same patch of sand until well after sunset. But Louis did not return that day.

 

xXx

 

Time had passed. Less than a blink for Louis, to be sure, but it amounted to several weeks when converted to a human measurement of time.

Louis was very busy exploring some of the many mountains he had under his surface, seeing which ones were—or used to be—volcanoes. He was still so unfamiliar with his… body, as it were. It took some getting used to. He wanted to know all about himself. Forgive him for getting distracted. 

Louis’ rapt attention was only pulled elsewhere when he became aware of the tiniest pitter-patter on his skin. It was so faint, but he zeroed in on it. He’d forgotten about Harry again, he realised. It worried him, how easily he could forget. He felt guilty, of course, but the feeling has less sharpness than last time. He only distantly wondered how long it had been since their last encounter. In fact, he was nearly lured away by an epic storm partway across the world from where the familiar sensation was weakly stuttering.

Instead, Louis clung to the knowledge that Harry used to be important to him: more important than himself, even. 

It seemed a strange concept to Louis, now that he thought about it. It’s just… he was so _big_ now, and there were so, so many humans. Yet, Harry was supposed to be the most important human?

As Louis neared and the undeniable tug drew him closer, he convinced himself that, yes, Harry was the most important human. He had believed it once. He should believe it always.

Spurred on by a fading memory of love, Louis’ gaze broke the surface. Harry was sitting on the bow of one of the lifeboats from the beach, with two other boys in the back. They were rowing very enthusiastically—if a little dramatically, in the case of the one nearest the bow. Harry was barely contributing, holding an oar one-handed. Instead, he scanned the horizon and the surrounding water. His right hand, the one not clutching the oar, was dipped into the water, a parody of bait on a fishing hook. The third boy, sitting between Harry and the overexcited one, was the one Louis saw to be doing most of the work. He was sweating and panting, holding a single oar tightly and occasionally transferring it to the other side to make up for the other’s lack of skill. Louis noticed in the back of his mind that they were far enough away from the shoreline that Louis only knew which direction it was by feel. 

Louis could still hear the faint pitter-patter that drove him here. He wondered where it came from while the boy in the middle jovially asked Harry “how much further do you need us to go?”

The one in the front chimed in, “are we fecking there yet, you mad cunt?”

Huh. Irish. 

Harry seemed to ignore them, putting his oar lengthways in the boat and waving distractedly over the middle one’s shoulder until he did the same. The other two turned and watched as Harry manoeuvred his body fully to his right to stick his left hand into the gentle waves beside his right.

Louis could still hear the soft thumping, twice as loud now. It was discernibly a rhythmic … beat. A heartbeat. _Harry’s_ heartbeat.

Harry called out, “Louis?” in the most brokenly hopeful tone.

Louis moved further towards him and completely narrowed his vision. It was easier this time, to manipulate his sight and the water. He concentrated until he was again crafting a minuscule body from himself. Harry watched it all happen solemnly, resigned. He didn’t even glance back at the other boys, who were gaping, sputtering and blinking furiously. Harry did ask, though, once the Irish one started to panic and dangerously list the boat sideways, “You can see him, too, yeah?”

_Hello, Harry_ was all Louis could think to say to him. They stared at each other, rapt. Louis felt maybe the importance of the moment was lost on him a little. 

The others were busy aggressively agreeing with Harry’s statement and then shouting louder and louder questions at his unresponsive back.

“Niall, Liam: This is Louis,” was all Harry answered them with.

Louis enjoyed their abrupt silence for all of a second before they were clamouring for answers once more. Louis grew frustrated as Harry turned from him to speak with them. He didn’t have enough time for this.

He picked his boy up using a gentle column of water and sent the boat back to the shore with equal care. Niall and Liam were screaming and clutching each other in a way that Louis would have once found funny as the wave he summoned hurtled them away.

Harry seemed to pull himself out of his head as this was happening, struggling to balance on the platform of water Louis created under him.

“What the hell, Louis? Those are my friends! What did you do to them?” he cried.

A sphere of water grew up and surrounded him entirely, enclosing him in water bar a hole at the top to let air in. Louis materialised in front him after crafting the space, trying to ignore an earthquake in his depths countless kilometres away. He instead focused on watching Harry give up on trying to stand on the unstable surface, instead falling to his knees and trusting the water to hold him.

_I didn’t like them. I sent them away. They should be at the shore by now; I can’t feel them anymore._ Louis knelt in front of him. It was easier to pretend that he could be human again with Harry, especially if he moved a body around that was the same size as the one he used to have. It was billions upon billions of times smaller than his current body. He used to feel dainty, but now ‘dainty’ didn’t begin to cover it.

“You… you sent them away? Louis, I’m so confused.” Harry was crying again, it was horrible. “You tell me that you’re alive but you’re also not, and then you tell me to live for you- which I’m trying!” Harry choked back a sob when Louis tried to put his arms around him. “But you didn’t come back! It’s been a month and I’ve tried everything, they think I’m crazy here. They whisper about me, ‘that odd boy who was driven mad by a storm, he thinks he can talk to the ocean now! So sad…’” Harry hiccupped, unable to continue. Louis swayed them a little, a gentle rocking motion. At this, Harry seemed to deflate completely.

He tiredly tried to hug Louis back, but Harry couldn’t touch him without his hands passing clean through him. The only way Louis could even keep him afloat on a solid floor inside their water room, where sunlight was streaming in through the thin liquid walls, was by constantly pushing water upwards from underneath him, and then to the side quickly. Harry was essentially sitting on a geyser, which he paused to marvel at while Louis rocked him.

Once Louis was sure that Harry’s tears had dried up, he softly asked; _do you know why I came?_

Harry shook his head, still staring at the ground, his wet fringe falling over his eyes. Louis’ manifestation had still been holding him in a loose an embrace, but now Louis was gently pushing Harry until he was lying down on the bubbling water. Harry didn’t protest, staring up at Louis trustingly as he leaned over him, elbow propped next to his head on the right.

_I was on the other side of the world,_ Louis began, Harry’s eyes widening, _when I heard a noise, soft like the sound of far-off careful footsteps_. Louis placed his other hand on Harry’s left cheek, erasing the tracks his tears had left. _I’m so sorry, Harry, but I’d forgotten all about you_ , Louis continued. He looked upon the broken expression this admission provoked on Harry’s cherubic face. 

Islanders in the Pacific marvelled at how high the tide had gotten all of a sudden, almost to the point of flood. A migrating school of fish was caught in an unexpected and vicious whirlpool in the middle of the Atlantic. _But I heard this light pattering, so I followed it to you._ Harry was blinking up at the light streaming through the oceanic shelter Louis had made for him, a glimpse of clouds visible through the opening at the top. Everything was so blue. Louis’ eye’s used to be blue, too. _And then there you were, sweetheart._ The endearment was foreign and familiar on Louis’ tongue all at once. Harry leaned his face into the hand on his cheek upon hearing it, still reeling from the news that Louis having forgotten him. _Do you want to know what the noise that drew me was?_ Harry nodded at him sadly. _It was you, Harry; it was your heartbeat. I heard your heartbeat from across the world._

Harry blinked slowly. He hadn’t even meant to lure Louis; he’d only put his hand in the water so that he could feel it, something physical. If he wasn’t crazy, then that’s what Louis was now: the sea. He’d just wanted to … feel him, again.

_I love you so much it scares me, Harry. But what scares me more is that I could forget you, or that when I think about you or how you used to make me feel, it’s like looking through glass. Glass that’s getting thicker the longer it’s been since I was human._ Louis’ voice in his head, which had before been lifeless facsimile of his once boisterous and melodic tone, carried the weight of real emotions.

Louis watched as Harry took an unsteady breath, choosing to whisper his reply rather than disturb the tranquillity of the place. 

“What do we do, Louis?” 

_I dunno, Haz. I wish I did._ The nickname fell off his tongue before he could question it. Louis remembered more about his humanity and his Harry the longer he spent in his company. The itch of various distractions and the difficulty of focusing were lesser than last time. Although… that whirlpool he’d started was definitely getting out of hand. The sky had joined in, it seemed, gleefully egging it into a full storm with some well-placed wind. 

Harry looked lost, but he leaned up towards Louis’ watery form. He placed one of his large hands—Louis had always teasingly referred to them as ‘kitten paws for my overgrown kitten’—onto Louis’ cheek, carefully so as not to break the surface tension. Gently and slowly, giving Louis enough time to say something if he wanted, Harry moved to kiss Louis lightly on the lips. It was only a peck. After all, Louis didn’t have a body anymore, or anything physical with which to appreciate the wonder of kissing. But, he appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. Once Harry pulled back, Louis eagerly soaked up each of his shaky breaths as they ghosted over him. World-wide tide movement, all of the many many waves on his skin; that was how Louis breathed now.

_I’ll take you back to your friends, now. I have’ta go, darling, it’s hard to focus on summat so small for very long._ Louis’ accent came through much stronger in Harry’s head now, to both their surprise. Harry frowned, but nodded his understanding.Weakly, he joked, “You can’t focus? That’s new.”

Louis laughed softly, but Harry could tell his mind was already elsewhere. Their sanctuary collapsed gracefully—an artful contradiction, like Louis himself—and waves formed underneath Harry, carrying him away from Louis as he melted his features back into the mass of the ocean. Suddenly frantic, Harry cried, “Louis, wait! Don’t forget about me again, please! You have to… you have to come back to me! _Don’t leave me!_ ”

No matter how Harry struggled, Louis’ wave gripped him tight enough to bruise and carted him back to the now visible shoreline, where Niall and Liam were rushing to their feet and shouting questions at the sight of Harry’s unwilling approach.

As his feet touched the sand and the wave that carried him receded with the tide, Harry heard a far-off voice saying _I’ll always come back to you._ Louis sounded cold, but certain. Not a platitude; a fact.

 

xXx

 

“I can feel your wonder and compassion, child. It sickens me.”  
  
Louis was in the middle of pondering an immense mass of ice before him. He was minding his own business, mapping the area out, when he heard the voice. It was spat with so much contempt, louder than anything Louis had heard since he had died. The owner of the voice was a booming entity, malevolent and… more powerful than Louis, or so it felt like. Louis was pulled from his excited puzzling over whether or not this ice mass was his (it felt numb, almost, probably because the water was his but it was now a form of land, partially removing it from his control but leaving a pleasing ghost in his mind.)

Louis could barely be bothered to respond to the snide remark from the sky, who he could feel above him, older than he once thought possible but far less kind than his own aged predecessor. Besides, he was only ever good at verbal warfare when he was defending someone he loved. That person was almost always Harry, a boy who was leaps and bounds better at joking aggression than he was at actually standing up for himself. Not that he’d ever needed to; that was always Louis’ job. So, it wasn’t until the sky followed up the jab with: “I’ve seen you with that human speck, cradling him like an incontinent babe,” that Louis felt the need to involve himself.

“What the fuck do you care, mate? Aren’t you busy enough killing innocent creatures for a kick? Mind your own bloody business!”

“Child, when you have reached as old as I am, I impassion you to find a more entertaining pastime. And it’s concern of mine for as long as you interfere with my games. I’ve caught you calming my storms, rescuing animals,”—Louis couldn’t deny this. When he wasn’t exploring, he was trying his best to focus on what Harry would want for him and then channelling that into helping living things. “I’ve watched you. I thought you would settle into your role, replace the one who gave this to you – she and I used to whip up the most amazing storms in our fights; older than even I, she was – and yet you’ve clung, ridiculously, to your past life. I know it’s that human you visit. He’s keeping you from your potential and, like a lovesick idiot, you’re letting him.”

Louis scoffed. “You won’t provoke me into fighting you, _pal_.”

The sky let out a loud, thunderous roar. Louis understood it as the laughter of a being that had long since forgotten how to laugh.

“Animal lifespans are blinks, flashes. Pathetic and easily snuffed out. How long has it been since you visited it? How do you know it’s not dead yet?”

Louis didn’t even need to think about that one, though he probably should have. If he had, you would have reconsidered his reply of, “Of course I know. I can feel him.”

The ominous clouds that had been gathering over the area froze instantly and their thunder ceased.

“ _’Feel_ him’?” The sky repeated, cold as ice.

Louis could see no reason rethink his usual strategy of stubbornly refusing to admit anything was odd about his statement. It was a truth that he clung to every moment, the tug in his chest he knew would lead to Harry. Harry, who was desperately sad at the moment, but still very much living. Harry, who was far away from home still, all because of Louis. Louis had felt terrible when he had realised this, had scrambled through the wreckage of his memories of the finicky workings of the human world to work out why Harry was still so far away from home. It was because the beach he had washed up on, whilst having a small British settlement as security for a shipping port and storage facility, was very much out of the way. Ships only docked there once a year. Harry was forced to wait out rescue with only his grief and a handful of sailors for company.

The sky grew impatient with waiting for Louis to retract or explain his words. 

“I can see that you love that human. Revolting.”

Louis absolutely snapped. “How I feel for Harry is the least revolting part of my existence, you airborne fucking _virus!_ Do you want to hear something truly revolting? It’s you. You’re more dedicated to the creation of monstrous sea storms and the destruction of lives than you are to living!”

The sky let out another booming, thunderous laugh. 

“Child, when you have lived as long as I, you will be too.”

“And what about the one who came before me, huh? You said that she was older than even you. What of her? I could feel her presence cradling me and easing me into a peaceful death. She obviously felt compassion enough to nullify her own existence and give this power to me. I won’t pretend to know why, but I’m _grateful._ The ocean found me and gifted me new life in the same moment that you were stealing my old one _._ It seems to me that the sea has always been cleaning up after you, before I was even here. So stop blaming your age for you own fucked up sense of fun!”

Louis’ outburst ended in a wrathful expulsion of water into the sky, a massive pillar that morphed into a tsunami. Once Louis realised what his anger had manifested, he made the Herculean effort of calming himself and his surface into peaceful and ordinary waves.

The sky remained silent for once. Louis felt around himself for any disturbances,thinking the sky has left to cause havoc somewhere else. To his surprise, he found nothing.

Eventually, a faint voice sounded from above.

“You have given me much to think about, child.”

 

xXx

 

Louis was watching his very favourite human. He occupied the water of the bay while Harry sat quietly with his toes in the sand. He had his wrist in his lap, tracing the lines of the anchor tattoo that was inked into his skin, to match the rope Louis used to have. When he and Harry sat down in a corner of a shady inn to get them a month before they were to set sail, neither of them thought anything could come between them: they had the matching tattoos to prove it. Now, the rope that matched Harry's anchor (and the dagger to his rose, the compass to his ship) were lying somewhere at the bottom of the ocean and Louis was lying here, sending small waves to lap gently at Harry's feet. Every time they did, Louis could feel his skin for just a tantalising second before the tide pulled back in. Over and over again, a flash of Harry’s warmth and then damp sand in a cycle designed to drive Louis mad.

But he just watched, trying to be as quiet as Harry. Harry was always good at being quiet, far better than Louis. There was usually only one way to make Louis be quiet when he didn't want to, and that was to tire him out and then park him next to a quiet Harry.

It seemed to still work, which didn’t make any sense to Louis, considering all that had happened.

Finally, Harry spoke. He didn’t yell, beg or plead. His voice was thick with equal parts sadness and determination.

“I’m leaving this place tomorrow.” He said. Just that. Louis waited for something else, a follow-up statement or a confirmation that Harry was even trying to speak to him at all.

Nothing had come by the time Harry had stood and turned. Louis struggled to figure out what Harry would want from him in this moment, how he should comfort him or reach out to him. 

Harry just walked away.

Louis supposed he deserved that.

 

xXx

 

The concept of ‘tomorrow’ no longer really applied to Louis, who was often so caught up in whatever he was doing that the location of the sun wasn’t ever at the forefront of his mind. Considering his vastness, it was always sunny somewhere. That was what mattered.

Nevertheless, Louis decided to stay in the bay for as long as he could manage. He’d been practicing all this time, and though it must have been a long time since they last spoke (to Harry, at least), Louis thought that he had gotten better at it.

When the dawn eventually broke, Louis floated his way over to the small docks, where a ship had made anchor during the night. 

He could see Harry; a canvas bag swung jauntily over one shoulder. He has with two other human boys, his age. Louis supposed they were the ones Harry had talked in to helping him row that one time. Nostalgia-tinted fondness suffocated him at the memory, and though it was not his body that nervously climbed into a rowboat to be taken to the large merchant ship, Louis felt as if it was.

Seagulls soared in idle circles above them all, and Louis was so tempted all of a sudden to shoo them away. To panic and overreact and warn Harry to never get on another ship again, _are you crazy, do you not remember what happened last time?!_

Harry’s shocked face spun towards the ocean, eyes tracking over the surface of the water. His sudden movement caused the rowboat to rock slightly, to which disgruntled complaining followed. They were more than halfway to the ship.

Harry was shaking off a hand on his shoulder, muttering apologies with an unwavering gaze towards the sea. Louis supposed that he was looking at him, technically, since he was all of the sea. But Harry was also looking at where Louis’ consciousness lay.

In the last few seconds before the rowboat reached to ship, Harry reached his arm over the side of the boat and dipped his fingers into the water. 

“I do remember. And I wish I could forget.” 

Louis wanted to cry. Harry was being hoisted up along with the rest of the passengers of the rowboat, and he was going to be on a ship again, and all Louis could do was play over Harry’s words and disappear to the Antarctic to kick up a storm where no one would be hurt.

 

xXx

 

Harry was sitting in the crow’s nest, looking out at the vast ocean. It used to be overwhelming for him to be on a ship with no sight of land, but that was before he knew the truth of the sea. It was enormous, yes, but it was also a boy. A boy he’d grown up with, laughed with, danced with… loved. 

He was distracted by movement in his periphery, and spun his head around to see Liam and Niall arguing on the starboard side. He frowned, too far away to hear their words but close enough to watch as Niall fastened a rope around his waist and pulled on a lifejacket. Liam looked quite irate, but Niall looked resolute. Harry was just about to move to climb down onto the deck to find out what was going on when Niall turned to his direction, giving him a jaunty wave before flopping backwards off the side of the boat. Harry gaped in shock, wincing as he heard the _splash!_ of Niall hitting the water.

Harry scrambled down the ladder as Liam leaned his upper half over the edge of the boat, cursing. 

“What the fuck just happened, Liam?” Harry panted, rushing over. From his new position next to Liam he could see Niall paddling about in the water below, round and round in circles. 

“He’s being an idiot, that’s what.” Liam huffed, turning to Harry and scowling. 

“Oi! Louis! OI! Louis Shitedick Tomlinson or whatever the fuck your name is! C’mere!” Niall shouted, still paddling around in determined little circles. He was falling behind the ship, safely being pulled along by the rope around his waist.

“He’s convinced himself that he has to give your sea-boy a piece of his mind for leaving you all mopey these past few weeks. I told him not to, Harry, I swear,” Liam said. 

Harry sighed. “It’s alright, Liam. He’s just trying to help. It’s not like Louis’ll turn up anyway.”

“I swear to god I’ll piss in you if you don’t show up right now! Try me, cunt!” Niall shouted from below. 

Liam put a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder, leaning in to whisper cheekily, “do you think he knows where the toilet on the ship goes?”

Harry huffed halfheartedly. Despite his pessimistic words, he couldn’t help but watch the water around Niall with a sharp eye. He would always be a fool whenever Louis was concerned. Be it agreeing to hop on a trade ship for bad wage and worse lodgings because a certain someone wanted to ‘see the world’, or sitting on the shore of a beach for a month straight _just in case_ Louis came back for him, Harry had done it.

It was only because he was watching so closely that he caught glimpse of a far off ripple in the water, making Niall. 

“Liam! Is that a shark?” He asked, panicked.

“What? Where?” Liam bent dangerously far over the railing, eyes searching. 

“There…” Harry trailed off, watching as the ripple grew larger and larger, until a form emerged from the water. It wasn’t the Louis-shaped apparition Harry was used to, more of a tube of water larger than any human. It was unmistakably Louis’ work.

“He did come,” Harry whispered. Liam nodded, wide-eyed.

“There you are! Took ya fucking long enough,” Niall shouted, paddling closer to the form. “You’ve got some s’plaining to do, mate.”

Louis had been watching a humpback whale give birth when he’d been distracted by a splash around the ship Harry was on. He’d been keeping a close eye (or…a close feel) on the ship’s progress. Louis’ last confrontation with the sky didn’t leave him wanting to take chances. He came as fast as he could, because the disturbance he was sensing was distinctly human-shaped and had made no move to climb back aboard the vessel. He was surprised to find Niall, red-faced and wild-haired, when he arrived. 

He crafted his usual human visage to replace the crude shape he’d adopted, willing to hear whatever was so important to summon him here. He could see Harry and Liam, leaning rapt over the edge of the boat. It had only been a second, it felt to Louis, since he’d seen Harry’s face. Yet, with the sight of it now, it at once felt far too long.

_Explaining about what, Niall._ Louis responded when Niall had paddled close enough that they were face to face.

“What’s he saying?” Liam shouted down. Niall waved a quieting hand over his shoulder.

“Who do you think you are, breaking young Harry’s heart like that!—” Niall started, interrupted by Harry’s disgruntled shout of “We’re the same age!”

He ignored this, barrelling forward, “I don’t care if you are the literal entire fucking ocean, I don’t care if you’re bloody god itself! He’d a stand-up lad and he deserves better than to be dumped just because you’ve gone and died or whatever.” Niall’s accusing pointed finger had lost some of its gravitas during his rant, wobbling as it was while Niall struggled to stay afloat. 

Louis hummed and crafted a solid platform of water under Niall, ignoring his shocked screeches and cry of “Don’t you fucking ignore me now,” as he lifted the boy up on a column of water.   
With less care then he probably should have taken, Louis dumped Niall’s flailing body back onto the deck of the boat along with a hearty splash of water. He rested the arms of his form on the railing of the boat and stared blankly at the group of stunned sailors that had gathered to witness the spectacle.

Niall sputtered and climbed to fit feet with the help of a now soaked Liam and Harry.

_Anyone else want to have a go at me over problems I can’t fix?_ Louis asked drily.

Harry snapped his head up at him and scowled, stepping forward. He opened his mouth to reply when someone else stepped in front of him. It was the captain of the ship, a woman named Bebe who had been more than welcoming to her unexpected extra crewmembers.

“Yeah, actually.” She said, not even blinking as Louis turned towards her. “I’m sure I don’t fully grasp who exactly you are and your purpose here, but seeing as you seem to be able to manipulate water I don’t supposed you could… Top up our drinking water supply?” She questioned in a tone that on anyone else would sound sheepish.

_You mean…Pull the salt out of some seawater for you?_ Louis questioned. He seemed genuinely stumped. 

“Yeah. Can you do that?” Bebe turned to Harry. “Can he do that?” She repeated.

Harry shrugged helplessly. 

_I cant, actually_ said Louis. _But I’ll do you one better._

Louis pulled away from the ship, retreating back into the mass of himself. He scanned around on his skin, searching and searching for—ah! There. Louis sped towards a thriving reef habitat, normally one of his favourite places to be. Not currently, however.

When he arrived, he sent a booming message up to the sky.

“Hey! Can you not be a dick for once and do me a favour!” 

The sky paused in his little game of making large updrafts appear underneath flying fish to send them soaring much farther than they were capable. 

“What’s the favour, little one?” He asked. Louis noted with surprise that his voice contained far less hostility than it had when they’d last spoken. 

“Could you come with me to a ship and make it rain over it? Enough so they can collect some drinking water, don’t you dare drown them.” Louis replied.

The sky hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with your human boy, does it?”

Louis turned from the reef without replying, glad to find that the sky willingly followed him towards the ship. He was less glad to here his mocking laughter.

“Which one is he?” The sky asked upon their arrival. He began pulling some clouds over from the surrounding area, compressing them over the ship. 

Louis scanned the vessel, passing the overjoyed captain barking orders as a drizzle began to fall, passing Liam and Niall who were huddled on the ladder leading to the crow’s nest, and… There. Of course. Harry always did like to be high up, ever since they were kids.

“He’s the one up there,” gestured Louis, using a tuft of water. Harry turned his head to the spot, squinting against the now heavy rain that was falling. 

“Interesting.” Said the sky. Louis was just about to demand what he’d meant by that when he felt the sky depart, the rain now falling steadily without any further input on his part. 

Louis turned back to the boat, fallowing along on it’s path back to England. It was much easier to watch the boat, he found, than it was the watch Harry; he could get as far away as he needed when his vision grew tired. He kept following it further than he probably should have, because there was definitely other things he was missing all around the world. Yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Niall had said to him. He knew that Harry was upset to be without him, of course he did… But it was another fact from his old human brain that had gotten blurrier the longer he looked away from it. 

Louis focused back in on his boy, sitting alone in the crow’s nest… The part of the ship further from the sea, Louis noted sadly. He stretched a thin tendril up from the water, getting close to where he sat. It was dark by now, the sun having set and most of the crew having gone to sleep already. Harry was not the exception, it seemed; his eyes were closed against the harsh sea breeze and the persistent drizzle. Louis watched his deep, even breaths and hoped that he would get sick from staying out here too long. He manifested an arm, a hand, and placed it on his already wet cheek. 

_I miss you too Harry, even when I don’t realise I do. I’m so sorry._

Louis sadly retreated back into himself, passing the forms of Niall and Liam, who watched him go with sad eyes. 

 

xXx

 

_What’s your name, little one._

Harry woke with a start, sniffling and blinking. All of his muscles hurt, and he understood why when he realised that he was still in the crow’s nest. The last thing he remembered was…dreaming about Louis telling him he missed him. But, it was definitely a voice that had woken him. A voice that he didn’t recognise. 

“Huh?” Harry grunted out, looking around him and at the deck below. It was still dark, and the only people out on the deck were the sleeping forms of Liam and Niall. 

_Tell me your name._ Said the voice. 

“Tell me yours first.” Harry stubbornly replied. He’d had enough mystical magical fuckery for one lifetime, and the love of his life was pretty much gone forever, and his entire body hurt. There would be no nonsense on this night, he thought as he shakily stood up.

He heard a distant laugh, mostly mocking but partly fond.

_I haven’t gone by a name for longer than you can even imagine,_ Harry heard, _but it used to be…. Nick, I think. You would know me as ‘the sky’._

‘The sky’? Harry mouthed to himself.

_I’m here because… I’m curious. And I haven’t been curious in a very long time._

Harry leaned tiredly against the railing of the crow’s nest. “Ask away. After all, I clearly have all the answers.” Harry laughed somewhat deliriously.

_Your love is the sea, child. That is the sort of thing your kind sings songs about, is it not?_

Without a face to put the voice he was hearing to, Harry looked straight up. He started humming a sea shanty the Niall had taught him. It did, indeed, feature lyrics such as that.

_And the sea is fickle and cruel, surely you know this. He forgets you quite often, he’s all but left you behind._ Harry started humming louder.

_My question is this, child: do you love him still?_

Harry paused. He blinked up at the sky, and said in a quiet voice, “I will always love him. Even when he isn’t himself, I will always love him.” Harry huffed a small laugh. “I’ll even die loving him, long after he’s forgotten who I am,” he stood up straight and rolled his shoulders back and continued, “I’m done being angry about it. There’s nothing I can do to keep him, just as there’s nothing that can stop me from loving him.”

The sky seemed to take a moment to think, and Harry continued staring upwards, resignation painted on his features.

_What if…_ the sky began, _there_ is _something you can do about it?_

 

xXx

 

The sky found Louis in the Antarctic again. It seemed that this was where the former went when he didn’t want to hurt anything, or was worried that he would. 

“What do you want?” Louis asked tiredly.

“I want to help you.” Said the sky.

Louis huffed, and sent a petulant turret of water upwards. 

“None of that, you infant. I’m offering you a deal.” The water Louis had sent upwards was rapidly evaporated before any of it could fall back into him.

“Fine. I’ll pretend for a moment I believe you want to help me,” Louis started, “so, just say what you want to say and we can both be on our way.”

“I talked to Harry”— 

“You fucking did _what!?”_

_“—_ Calm down, I didn’t harm him. I simply wanted to know what you see in the boy, and I discovered that he’s still remarkably devoted to you.” Louis’ waters, which had turned violent at the sky’s first announcement, were now completely stilled. “He reminds me of… someone that I think I knew once.” The sky’s tone was melancholy. “When I was first made, I was full of wonder and love. The sea and I, we were friends. But as the years past, and kept passing, I grew joyless. I was so utterly bored for the longest time, until you were made. And I saw your love for him, and I was so filled with bitterness.

“It took your reminder of the compassion the sea before you had to make me realise that being bored and being bitter were not just a part of being old. They’re a part of being me. And I’m so tired of being me.”

Louis watched clouds gather and darken around them.

“What are you saying?” He asked.

“I’m saying, child, that I have come to a decision. I will give myself to your boy, and I will let him become me. You will be together, and I will be free from my boredom. One one condition.”  


“Name it.” Louis whispered. “Anything.”

“You have to promise me that you’ll love him, and you won’t let your lives become like mine. Hold on to your love and your joy, keep it close always.” The storm clouds that had ben gathering began to clear, leaving an empty blue expanse of sky.

“Is that it?” Louis laughed, hysterical and overjoyed. “Yes! I promise! Of course I do. But…” Louis quietened. “I can’t ask that of Harry. I won’t. He would have to die, and he has a family. Friends. A life, a human life.”

The sky hummed in recognition of his words. “Come with me,” he said.

 

xXx

 

Harry knocked on the captain’s door, waiting until he heard a cheerful “come in!” before entering. He saw Liam and Niall standing at a large oak desk in the centre of the room, a classy bed tucked in the corner and colourful fabrics and knick-knacks littered all around. Bebe looked up, her face melting into a smile at the sight of Harry. Liam and Niall smiled too, both tight around the corners.

“Captain.” Harry acknowledged. Bebe nodded in return. “Niall, Liam; can I have a word?”

“You’re dismissed,” Bebe said to the both of them, “but don’t forget you owe me 10 gallons if Lou serves potatoes tonight!” 

“Aye aye cap’n,” Niall laughed over his shoulder. Harry stood to the side as he and Liam passed by out of the cabin, but paused a second before following. 

“It’s been a pleasure knowing you, Captain Rexha,” Harry said. His frown melted into a dimpled smile as Bebe sarcastically curtsied, sending a wink his way before turning back to her work. 

Harry closed the door to the cabin with a soft _click,_ and turned towards the confused faces of Niall and Liam. 

“What’s going on, Harry?” Asked Liam.

“Um. Well… It’s kind of like…. So basically I sort of….” 

“Harry, I love you to bits but you’ve gotta spit it out, mate,” Niall chimed in.

“Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Liam asked, concerned.

“I’m fine,” Harry nodded. “It’s just. I…. Iagreedtobecomethesky,” He rushed out, fidgeting. 

“What.” Niall said blankly. Liam nodded in agreement.

Harry sighed. “The sky is a person in the same way that Louis is a person but is also the ocean, and he told me that he could make me the sky if I agreed to love Louis until the end of time or something. Which I was going to do anyway, obviously, but this way… We can be together again.” Harry looked up from where he had been slowly mumbling his explanation to the floorboards. His eyes were watering, and he sniffed loudly. “We can be together again.” He repeated.

Liam frowned. “But… doesn’t that mean you’ll have to die? Niall, say something!” Niall shook his head, frowning at the wall to the left of Harry. 

Harry smiled a watery smile. “Yeah, I’ll sort of die. Well… I won’t be human anymore. But Louis’ not human either, and I can’t face the thought of going back home without him, let alone spending the rest of my life without him. We promised we’d always be together, and this is how I keep that promise.” Harry’s face hardened into a determination neither Niall or Liam had ever seen on him before. “I’m here to say goodbye, and to ask you to do me a favour.”

Liam looked to Niall, who broke his silence by quietly saying, “whatever you need, Harry, we’ll do it.”

Harry nodded, sniffling again. “I need you to deliver this letter to my family, and this one to Louis’.” Harry held to letters forward. Liam reached forwards and gently took then, tucking them into his shirt. “They explain everything, so you don’t need to worry about that. But…If you could also tell them that Louis and I love them very much and that we’re happy and together, wherever we are. That would be great.” Harry sniffed, then nodded sharply to punctuate his words.

“Yeah, of course.” Liam replied, his wide eyes settled sadly on Harry.

“We’ll miss you, so you’d better come visit a couple times,” said Niall suddenly. Harry smiled sadly and nodded again, softer this time. 

He stepped forward to hug each other them, and whispering “thank you” to Liam and “I’ll miss you too,” to Niall.

He then stepped back and made his way do the railing on the port side of the ship. He nodded to the various crew members that were milling about, stopping to hug Lou, Tom and Caroline. He didn’t say any more goodbyes, but everyone seemed to sense that something of the sort was happening. They gathered behind him as he leant over the railing, watching as he called upward, “I’m ready!”

The sky had been waiting for those words, and with Louis there below him he sent a gentle gust of wind to pick harry up from the boat. Harry giggled quietly at the sensation of the warm wind carrying him a little ways out. He stopped giggling when the wind started whipping about him in a frenzy, turning into a tornado around him. 

_Please don’t hurt him_ heard Harry. He snapped his head around to try and find Louis but not even the ocean was visible anymore through the turbulent wind. 

_He’ll be alright, Louis. Harry, this will be over in a second. Try to relax._ Harry tried to take a deep breath but the air around him had gotten so thin. He tried not to panic.

_Harry._ Louis’ voice was much closer this time. _You’ll be okay, baby. I’ve got you. Let go._ And Harry did.

 

xXx

 

Coming to was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Obviously, he knew that being the sky would be different to being a human. He just didn’t think it would feel this… _much._ There was so much of him, and he kept going up and up and up until his reach numbed out, the curve of the earth visible from this view. He was so wide, too—everywhere there was air, there was Harry. He flittered from continent to continent, over mountains and valleys and sheets of ice. He wasn’t just huge, he was also _powerful._ With the tiniest twitch he could send rain falling or clear a clouded sky. He could whip up a storm and calm it in the same instant. 

And throughout it all, there was Louis. Following him to the best of his reach, laughing with him as they crafted a cyclone together, humming sweetly at him as they danced together in an infinite loop of water and air. Louis would sometimes go off to deal with something in his depths—of which Harry could only imagine how far down they went—and Harry would sometimes flit about on the many landmasses that decorated the world. It was a world that had once seemed to unfathomably huge to Harry, but positioned as he was now—with the ability to see the infinite stretches of space and the stars that lay therein—it seemed the perfect size. No matter how far they were apart, Harry and Louis always come back to each other before the day was done. Neither needed to sleep, but they still spent countless years curled in the embrace of the other. 

They did, also, remember to visit Liam and Niall. They even once visited their families together. It was a sad day, and Harry found it hard to concentrate on them for very long. Louis played with all of his sisters and told his mother than he was happier than he’d ever been—it was undoubtedly true. It only felt like a blink before everyone Louis and Harry had ever known except each other was passing away. Harry mourned them as best he could, but it was hard to comprehend when he still felt to young.

Nevertheless, neither Harry and Louis lost their compassion over the years. Just at time could not dull their love, it couldn’t numb their empathy. Any animal that got caught in one of their storms was safely carried away, and typhoons, tsunamis, and seawater floods all become a thing of the past. 

The tales Liam and Niall would spin to anyone who happened to worked on a ship with them were passed down and down through generations, eventually becoming the kind of folklore that people had grown tired of hearing for the hundredth time past childhood. It was a wonderful, simple story of sacrifice and love, of air and sea. Of Harry and Louis. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments/kudos are welcome & loved. The art at the start of the fic was drawn by yours truly, and you can find it over at my [tumblr](http://graceling-in-a-suit.tumblr.com/post/170533882965/need-you-like-water-in-my-lungs-t-10k-in-which).


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